he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
