I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
