Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
