I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
