your parents love me but you hate me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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