I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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