True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When are your genitals available?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You left your phone here
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