if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
