"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
