So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
