Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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