ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Randomize
