Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize