oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
