Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
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