Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
