Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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