Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
