i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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