I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
time to smoke my breakfast
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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