Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize