I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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