You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
