sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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