he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
