You really coming over, don't trick.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
