she smelled like a LAN party
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
