Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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