these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
