Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
