im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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