Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
