her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize