At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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