Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
