Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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