She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
