Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i dont even know how to be here
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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