call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
