just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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