went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
