Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
