worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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