is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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