all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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