I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
