i just google imaged poop.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
