fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize