i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize