when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
