And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
