I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
