she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
