people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
