New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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