I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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