i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
