Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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