just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
