I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize