I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
