halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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